Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Letter To Your Boss..Hehe

Got this from an email from my buddy. Hehe. True true.

Dear Boss, (hehe)
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4 pm and then bring it in to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2. If it's a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes toinquire how I am doing. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you are going. Itgives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, don'topen the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training.

5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which isthe priority. I am psychic.

6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and reallyhave nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.

7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out,it could mean a promotion.

8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to bepopular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.

9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write themdown. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.

10. Never introduce me to people you are with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

11. Be nice to me only when the job I am doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager's hell.

12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any, and itsnice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the storyabout having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.

13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goal SHOULD have been.
14. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost-of-livingincrease. I'm not here for the money anyway .

Anyone wants to try sending this? Hehe. Not me. My boss baik! Hehe

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